How To Tell If Your Child Is A Victim Of
Bullying
By:
Frank McGinty
I just don't get it! Ken's always been mad about his
gymnastics. He won't say what's happened, and he creates a fuss if
we ask!'
You could almost feel the tension rising.
This was the third time Ken had called off,
and his Mom was at a loss - especially since
a friend's Mom had called to arrange
transport.
She soon found out, however, that Ken was
being bullied.
A UK charity, ChildLine, claims that as many
as 8 out of 10 kids have been bullied at
some time. It's been going on for thousands
of years, of course, and it's not only kids
who are victims.
But let's concentrate on child bullying and
how we can recognize the signs and symptoms.
SYMPTOMS OF BULLYING
Probably the most common sign of bullying is
a reluctance to go to a place or take part
in an activity that previously was not a
problem. This could be school or a social
activity such as Ken's gymnastics class.
This reluctance - or even outright refusal -
is often accompanied by signs of fear, like
shaking and nervousness, aggressive
language, or feeling ill.
There may also be an out-of-character
moodiness and withdrawal, often with
physical signs of unrest such as a pale
complexion or fearful and drawn features.
You may even be aware of other outward
signs, like torn clothes, unexplained
injuries, and a run of losses involving
items like iPods or cell phones.
Unusual demands for cash may be made, and
you may even notice pilfering from your
purse or wallet. This is to pay-off the
bullies.
A decline in school performance is not
uncommon, and there may also be a decline in
sporting activities or a loss of interest in
hobbies that were once all-consuming.
Any caring parent will become upset if they
see a dramatic change for the worse in their
normally friendly and relaxed child. It's
not easy to watch your son or daughter sink
into a depression and/or become angry,
especially when they won't even tell you
why.
UNDERSTANDING THESE CHANGES
All of the above symptoms are rooted in
fear. This ranges from fear of embarrassment
to fear for life itself. The child is trying
at all costs to avoid the fear-inducing
experience of bullying.
And top of the list is a conviction that
telling anyone about it will make it worse.
That's why there's a downward spiral, often
leading to despair and depression - because
the victim can see no escape.
Let's look at the different types of
bullying to understand this more.
Physical, verbal and social: these are the
three types of bullying according to
psychologists - and they can all happen at
once.
Physical bullying is usually characterized
by punching and kicking, but there can also
be slapping, hair-pulling and threats with
weapons such as blades.
It's often accompanied by stealing or
damaging the victim's personal property,
such as money, sports equipment or musical
instruments.
The next type, verbal bullying, is taunting
and humiliating the victim, usually in a
loud and aggressive way - and it can be
every bit as devastating!
Social bullying is any of the above forms,
but it is when a group picks on one or more
victims. This is also known as relational
bullying. It can be very harmful indeed when
a group of kids decide to ignore or
'ostracize' one of their own.
You can help your child to overcome the
torment of bullying and you'll find
suggestions in a companion article.
This article is to raise the awareness of
parents, as very often the signs of bullying
are so obvious that we can easily be unaware
of them.
How bad would you feel if Ken was being
bullied, but as his parent you put it down
to the onset of the terrible teens, or just
a phase he's going through, or just a change
of interest? (He's 'gone off' gymnastics.)
Even small changes in your child's behavior
should be noted. Of course, we must avoid
being over-attentive and intrusive, but we
can safely monitor what's going on and help.
It's amazing how many kids feel they are
somehow to blame if they're being bullied!
Happy parenting!
Article Source:
http://www.uberarticles.com/articles
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