Getting Your Children to Tidy Their Rooms
By:
Dr. Noel Swanson
This is a common problem faced by parents.
It is the main cause of many a fight and
argument that lead to frustration. Here
are some tips to handle this:Typically, the child’s room is overflowing
with things, and there is not enough space
in the cupboards and drawers. So, the
first thing to do is to provide more space
for their stuff, which may appear useless
to you but is very precious for them. You
might have to invest in additional
shelves, boxes under the bed, or chests of
drawers.
It is best to have enough storage space so
that there is still some room for more. It
will help the child to find what he is
looking for easily without scattering
everything across the floor. Moreover, kid
stuff goes on adding everyday. If there is
enough space then the new things will also
find a place rather than keep lying
around.
Once you have done your part of the job,
and provided enough storage space, explain
your method of tidying the room, and ask
for suggestions from your child. Every
child is different. Some children are very
neat and tidy by nature, but the majority
of them are not. And, children have their
own idea of tidiness, which may not
coincide with yours. You can’t expect them
to keep their room spotless every single
minute of every day. They have to play
with their things, after all. Just set
some rules about a reasonable standard of
tidiness, and make sure you take their
views on it. Also, decide how often that
should be achieved.
Remember, your goal should be to teach
your children how to responsibly look
after their belongings. That their
untidiness upsets you is your problem. You
will have to allow them to fail at times
and face the consequences of that. In
other words, you may have to put up with
their untidiness for a bit longer.
So, once you have established reasonably
expectations - eg, that they put things
away before bed, or once a week they do a
big tidy-up, then it is time to draw up
some kind of contract.
In this you should spell out the
consequences for success and failure. Give
clear indications of what the rewards or
punishments would be.
Again, the focus should be on rewards not
punishments. Give them earned privileges
based on achieving the goal. You may want
to combine them with a chart system
connected to other chores.
Of course, you can use some punishments
for failure also, but they must be logical
consequences, and not out of proportion
with the crime. Many parents find the
"black bag" technique quite effective.
This is a simple exercise of picking up
anything still lying on the floor at 1pm
on Saturday and putting it into a big
black bag. This bag will be thrown into
the attic, basement or garage for a week.
This bag can be ‘earned’ back if the tidy
goal is achieved next Saturday or it will
be thrown into the basement and finally
into the garbage. But most children learn
the lesson much before that happens
because they run out of toys.
The secret of success of this exercise is
in remaining calm and firm. Avoid shouting
or other punishments. Just go at the
appointed time and collect the offending
articles.
Do this a couple of times and most
children will get the message and tidy up
before you get there with the black bag!
There may be times when you are expecting
visitors and you need your child’s room.
This is your need and out of the contract.
So, remember that this is extra to your
original contract, so it would be only
fair to offer an additional incentive for
them to tidy up. Be grateful that they are
doing you a favor by lending their room to
you.
Article Source:
http://www.uberarticles.com/articles
Go over to Dr. Noel
Swanson's website for more excellent
child behavior advice. While you are
there, make sure you also get his book The
GOOD CHILD Guide - it really is a must-buy
for every parent. Visit here for more
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